January 2010
53 posts
those few words meant a lot,even if you were semi delirious,i can kinda tell you meant it. i love you, :)
sometimes,i just have the weirdest goals i set for myself. ex: learning to moonwalk,and perfecting it. i’m at stage perfecting. lol. :)
you don’t even know me. no one does. i realize that, and i’ve come to accept that. it’s perfectly fine with me.
“i felt like a snake, perhaps a bit afraid of the brandnew serpent commanding an old skin to shed.” -ellen hopkins.
oh that’s okay,you can try all you want,you can’t win. ;)
“No one would ever see things the way I do No one will try All my friends think that I’m gone But I swear. I swear I’m not.”
wow,some people. actually a lot of people. i’d love it if i could meet just a few people that make it believable that they have good intentions,cause it’s hard to believe right now. and that’s why it’s so difficult to love everyone,cause at the moment,i can’t.
wow,i’m about to freakin explode, this is ridiculous.
i never thought of the bible as a love story, now i do,and i enjoy love stories. :)
kay,so don’t tell me one thing and do another,cause it pisses me off. hypocrites are really annoying,and i don’t like them. don’t have a set of rules for me,then act differently with everyone else,thinking i’ll be fine with it.
i’m not really sure why i’m gonna miss you so much, well i mean of course i’d normally miss you like anyone else, but we’ve never been the closest of people. i think the fact that you show that you actually care about me and are willing to help me no matter what is what makes me feel like we’re so close. even if i refuse to tell you anything,you’ll always be...
ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER THAN WORDS.
how is it that whenever i start to care about someone they leave in some way. not because of me,they just have to.
i think i know why i love to sleep. cause it takes an edge off of blunt reality. (kristen said this once;i really liked it.) but yeah that’s probably why i’ve been nodding off in classes, i’ve never nodded off in class except for this year. hmmm,saying something.* sleeping is the only time where i can shut off my mind from worrying,stressing,overanalyzing,overthinking,ect. and...
i don’t talk to people. “oh what’s wrong” why should i tell you? so i can complain about my problems? no,i’m too reserved for that,and i don’t like to burden people. and if i do open up,even just a little. please don’t come back with a sorry. cause it’s not your fault,and doesn’t help me out much. thankfully,this week is over.
i wish i could replay this year again, and change some things to last year. not meaning 2010 and 2009,i mean like the school years and suchhhhh.
it doesn’t matter how long you’ve known someone.
i have such an urge to just spin my flag(s) for hours and hours. i was just going through some of my pictures, and the memories that came up just made me smile. eating lunch in the gym,listening to music,dancing,spinning,and goofing off was amazing. i miss it, really badly. extremely badly. but my memories that i will always have are fantastic. :)
so yeah i have the worst luck ever lol. today i got a drink spilled on me, yay! hahahahaha. i wasn’t mad,cause i mean it was an accident, and everyones’ faces were priceless “:OOOO” i think people expected me to be pissed,hahaha. nahh,i’m too awesome for that. i was kinda upset over my bag,but hey,it’s not a biggie. im just wondering what’s next,lol....
it’s nice to see your true colors. i mean really,how are you so blind? on the contrary,i’ve missed you three. it was amazing spending tonight with you guys. you guys made me in a way better mood. :)
yupp,i need a punching bag. because people are just idiots.
i feel like an insensitive jerk. i mean i talk to you for like a few minutes or seconds,then just walk away or get distracted. we’re suppose to be bff’s,and i’m not doing my part. and yeah,i miss you too,more than i’ve really expressed,which i should.
“i better rest my eyes because i am growing weary of this point you’ve been trying to make so rather than imply why don’t you just verbalize all the things your trying to say” why don’t you,come right out and say it.
why are
people so blind? and so afraid? and so absent minded about the things that surround them,and the world they live in? why do they care what people think, why are they afraid to show what they really feel,for the fear of being judged? or the fear of rejection.
i would just love to understand the human mind, i wonder what it would be like if we actually did use more of our brain, cause apparently...
despite of things people say,i’m not changing my mind set. besides,i am usually right,hahaha. take that.
it’s interesting to see what people will say to make you doubt yourself because,i think they do it out of insecurity. it’s like i’ll hope or maybe think something, then they’ll come along and be like “nahh,blah blah blah” ha,this is why i never see much good in people, because they don’t give me a reason to. i’ve been trying to stay positive and look...
yeah,mom fixes everything.
there’s multitude of reasons why i don’t talk to anyone. main one,no one listens. other one,they don’t care,they’re just nosey. and three,i can’t trust anyone. sure,i have good friends i could/can go to,but i don’t. and i should,but yeah,pointless.
who am i?
surprisingly,i know who i am,and i’m proud of it. i’m proud of not being like everyone else, it’s cooler to just be your own person, not similar to anyone. and i’m pretty sure i know who i will be,because i won’t ever change for anyone. so yeah,i’m thinkin’ this won’t be so hard. :)
“It’s true we don’t know what we’ve got until its gone,
but we don’t know what we’ve been missing until it arrives.”
yeah,i know you wish you didn’t.
it's funny
how my good/great moods come and go. and when they go,i don’t know what to do to get them back? it’s like when they come back,i don’t know the main source to trigger them. i know aspects and certain things that can,but shouldn’t there be a main thing to make them come back? blahhh,oh well,hahaha.
i'm
done doubting myself.
this is weird.
i’m actually studying, and really trying. i’ve always tried my hardest, but there’s like a new hardest for me. my standards for myself are way high. higher than ever. i never studied last year and last semester, so having all hard classes is a difference pace. i’m kinda liking being challenged. i mean i know i can do it,but i can see that i will get stressed a lot. but...
wow im stupid.
i really should have read 1984, i just can NOT stand boring books. and now i’m getting bitt in the..butt. but yeah i just wanna scream. i hate that stupid book. it’s gonna make me fail a few things, then i’ll have to make a’s on everything else. but i’m gonna finish the book,preferably on friday, and maybe,hopefully,i won’t fail the test. to be honest,i’d...